Commander Tartar, also known simply as Telephone, is the primary villain of Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion. It first presents as a guide to the player, agent 8; guiding them through the deep-sea metro and encouraging them to collect the 'four thangs' to escape. Its primary goal is to collect the most intelligent test subjects to liquefy into a sludge of superior DNA, then wipe out all life in Inkopolis and restart a new, better species. It is a highly complex AI construct created by a human professor before the extinction of the human race, for the purpose of passing on humanity's knowledge and preventing the next species from making the same mistakes mankind did. Over the 12,000 years it remained in isolation after the mass extinction, its reasoning seemed to deteriorate, driving it to murderous instability later presented in the latter half of Octo Expansion. It's presented as highly cunning and narcissistic, with the ability to analyze and adapt its speech patterns to most efficiently communicate with any subject (although it defaults to a verbose and somewhat pious verbosity when this friendly act is dropped). It reveres humanity to a delusional level, putting their achievements on a pedestal while ignoring their faults and parallels to the culture of inkfish. As an AI holding the vast knowledge of the human race, it's been demonstrated to carry a wide range of skills, including (but not limited to) architecture, programming, biology, medical technology, and army leadership.
I first played Octo Expansion in early 2019 after having recieved a Nintendo Switch for the previous Christmas. Upon first starting the story campaign, I immediately fell in love with the mechanical tour guide. I've always had a soft spot for nonhumanoid robot characters, and its goofy theming and speech patterns appealed seriously to me. The final boss battle had me
quite literally shaking; my heart was pounding. To this day, the end of Octo Expansion remains my favorite boss fight of all time. Tartar is probably my favorite character of all time; I don't think I could even fully put into words how much it means to me. I'm the proud owner of one copy of every existing piece of merchandise of it (that's for sale, anyway), including the world's first body pillow of it (hand drawn, of course). It's sparked an interest in retro telephones in general for me, and I've collected a handful of my own that've piqued my interest at thrifts. I've devoted countless hours to this silly little telephone, drawing and writing and sewing and sculpting and thinking, so much thinking about it. I named my cat Tartar Sauce after it. I've openly selfshipped for most of my life (even before I had an internet presence), but I think Tartar is the longest running and most devoted F/O I've even had. Four years and counting, the genuine love of my life. |--[O8] <3
